The Math

Dear Caroline,

The more time I spend writing letters to you, the more I must consider the math. A majority of children are between eight to fifteen months when they are adopted from China. My goal as of now is to give you these letters when you graduate from high school which, based on my math, is approximately the year 2037. I will be forty-eight years old.

As a young person of twenty-four, that is an impossible thought. I am so young with so many wonderful years ahead of me with so many of my goals yet to be accomplished.  I want so many difficult things. But growing old, quite frankly, it scares me to death! Pondering myself at nearly fifty is an impossible thought. My life would be halfway over if I live to be one hundred. Pondering your own mortality is not very pleasant especially when I reflect on what I have already accomplished and the things that I never got to do. And I’m only twenty-four!

The strangest part of writing these letters is the fact that you will only know me as the nearly fifty mom you’ve always known. Imagining me as the twenty something writing to you on a Saturday night probably seems just as impossible to you as you read it.

Time is such a tricky thing and such a gift. I hope to never waste it, but to live life to its fullest. I still want to life abroad and to graduate with my masters and, and, and… I don’t want to be someone who lives my whole life in my hometown and never experiences life. I want so many of these things for you as well. Be a girl of experiences!

Wish #75: I wish for you to set your dreams and never lose sight of them!

Love always