Three Walk Free

Dear Caroline,

The word that has been plaguing my mind lately is justice. I watched a documentary recently on the West Memphis Three. Admittedly I am very unfamiliar with the case but what plagues my mind is justice.

Regardless of what actually happened, there is something horribly wrong with our world. What is wrong with people who take of the cause of a twice-convicted murderer? How is it just that three little boys were murdered? Why don’t people take up the cause of those children? The headline the day Echols, Misskelley, and Baldwin went were released from prison (and death row) was “Three Walk Free”. But while the celebrities and rubber-neckers were celebrating, who was thinking of the three that will never walk again?

I am not commenting on whether I think they were guilty or not. I am commenting on the depraved attitude on how we approach all trials in general in this country. Very rarely do people appreciate in trials that a soul was forcibly taken from this earth or a spirit was so shatteringly, incurably broken. If a murder trial is deemed “sensational” enough by the media at large, usually whom the person was is lost somewhere in the circus.  Instead of championing the cause of the convicted murderers, someone should be championing the cause of the children. If the men convicted were/are innocent, ultimately isn’t it the same cause?

Justice is difficult to define in just a few words. The dictionary uses words like fairness to describe it. Personally, I think that is an oversimplified explanation. If that were true, the killer(s) would magically switch places with the victim after a verdict is brought down or the person responsible would die in a similar manner.  Isn’t that fair? How fair is it that three little boys will never walk anywhere again, ever? In life there is very rarely true justice. One can only wait to see what waits on the other side of eternity.

Wish #39: I wish for you to pray everyday.

Love always

In What Other Profession?

Dear Caroline,

I am a teacher and I can see myself in this profession for the foreseeable future. Admittedly I would eventually like to go to law school and lobby on the behalf of teachers, but I do not necessarily see that dream becoming a reality any time soon. I read an article my fabulous mentor Whiddon posted earlier today about the state of my profession and it struck a cord.

In what other profession are the licensed professionals considered the LEAST knowledgeable about the job? You seldom if ever hear “that guy couldn’t possibly know a thing about law enforcement – he’s a police officer”, or “she can’t be trusted talking about fire safety – she’s a firefighter.”

In what other profession is experience viewed as a liability rather than an asset? You won’t find a contractor advertising “choose me – I’ve never done this before”, and your doctor won’t recommend a surgeon on the basis of her “having very little experience with the procedure”.

In what other profession is the desire for competitive salary viewed as proof of callous indifference towards the job? You won’t hear many say “that lawyer charges a lot of money, she obviously doesn’t care about her clients”, or “that coach earns millions – clearly he doesn’t care about the team.”

If that entire attitude weren’t bad enough, what other profession is legally held to PERFECTION by 2014? Are police required to eliminate all crime? Are firefighters required to eliminate all fires? Are doctorsrequired to cure all patients? Are lawyers required to win all cases? Are coaches required to win all games? Of course they aren’t.

For no other profession do so many outsiders refuse to accept the realities of an imperfect world. Crime happens. Fire happens. Illness happens. As for lawyers and coaches, where there’s a winner there must also be a loser. People accept all these realities, until they apply to public education.

If a poverty-stricken, drug-addled meth-cooker burns down his house, suffers third degree burns, and then goes to jail; we don’t blame the police, fire department, doctors, and defense attorneys for his predicament. But if that kid doesn’t graduate high school, it’s clearly the teacher’s fault.

And if someone – anyone - tries to tell you otherwise; don’t listen. He must be a teacher.

I definitely agree with the intent of his letter. There is no such thing as a perfect teacher or perfect student. There is no such thing as perfection on this side of heaven. But I do think that it is important to underscore how much I still believe in each imperfect student. As a teacher I have to truly believe that each student in each classroom can succeed. I think it goes back to the Einstein quote about fish. "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." 

I believe that just because a student fails a standardized test, does not equate failing in life. I believe that every child can learn, but I also believe that there is more to an education than what can be learned in books. But I'm "just" a teacher.

Wish #38: I wish for you to have a wonderful education even if that doesn't include books!

Love always

Year of the Dragon

Dear Caroline,

Today is the first day of the Chinese New Year! Thomas and I decided to celebrate, in small steps, Chinese culture. We decided the first step would be to celebrate Chinese New Year!

We did our research and decided that we would make red fish and white rice with shredded green beans (how that is traditional is beyond me?). And that is one more of my New Year’s Resolutions accomplished.

We decided that we needed to begin to understand Chinese culture because, let’s face it, we have no true ethnic identity. We’re “European” and that is about it. I think it is important to retain your culture and embrace it.

There are just so many things I hope you can keep.

Wish #37: I wish you a Happy Year of the Dragon!

Love always

My opinion better stated...

Dear Caroline,

I was watching the CBS Morning News this morning. I have been feeling a certain level of disgust with the way politics have spiraled lately. Nancy Giles captured how I was feeling perfectly when she called for a stop to the hypocrisy.

Want to know what makes me crazy?

In the recent South Carolina debate Newt Gingrich responded to a question about his second wife's charge that he'd asked for an open marriage. Gingrich replied, "I am appalled that you would begin a Presidential debate on a topic like that . . . the story is false . . . I'm tired of the elite media protecting Barack Obama and attacking Republicans."

I hate that, because I work in television, which is "the media," and we get a bad rap for everything. We're an easy target and always good for a "mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" crowd pleaser.

Sometimes we deserve the criticism. But when "the media" is used as a smokescreen, well, I have a problem with that.

There was a LOT of smoke blowing at Thursday night's Republican presidential debate in South Carolina . . . and it smelled like hypocrisy.

We already knew that Newt's been married three times. But what he and the various Mrs. Gingriches did or didn't do with him or others in whatever locations (and frankly I don't want to think about any of it) is private and none of my business.

Politicians? Get real. Billions of THEM (mostly male) engage in all kinds of naughty, immoral things when they're off the clock.

Okay, maybe not "billions," but their behavior is none of my business, either.

The right question to Mr. Gingrich should have been:

"You say you want to reduce the size of our government - yet you want to expand the government's reach by banning abortion and marriage equality.
"You've signed a marriage fidelity pledge - yet you had a six-year extramarital affair.
"You want to pair ghetto kids with janitorial jobs to teach them a work ethic, yet as Speaker of the House you were fined $300,000 for ethics violations.
"Isn't that hypocritical?"

THAT should have been the question!

Of course, Democrats do it, too, sometimes in bigger, splashier ways.

President Bill Clinton was considered a champion of women's rights, with a marriage that seemed to be a meeting of equals. Yet in private, he was chasing tail, which led to his impeachment for lying under oath about the Monica Lewinsky affair.

He's still highly thought of by some women's groups, and frankly I've never figured that out.

Mitt Romney believes in free enterprise, but he is bashful when questioned about his quarter-billion dollar personal fortune and the business practices that created his wealth. He squirms about paying a tax rate lower than middle class families. And he's coy about whether he'll release years of tax returns. ("Maybe!")

Isn't THAT hypocritical?

And there are religious leaders that aren't much different: Georgia megachurch pastor Eddie Long, a righteous opponent of gay marriage, was accused of having sex with four male parishioners. Let's just say he settled out of court.

Listen, I'm a spiritual person. I can believe in the power of forgiveness and redemption.

And if you guys will stop the hypocrisy . . . I'll forgive you.

Wish #36: I wish for you to think for yourself.

Love always

The Question

Dear Caroline,

I promised myself that I would write honestly to you. This post will not be without pain on my part or the discomfort of others, but I promise to always to tell you the truth. I suppose this is the downside of a public blog prior to a book.

I’m watching a movie that could have defined a moment in my life. I am watching 500 Days of Summer a movie that asks a question I’ve wondered about myself.

The movie is essentially about a man who falls in love with a woman who doesn’t believe in love. The couple breaks up because of this difference of expectations. However, upon breaking up the woman immediately gets engaged and subsequently marries.

I can sympathize! The question, however, is more complicated and hurtful. The question is, “Why her?” and even more profoundly shattering, “Why not me?” When this happened to me, it completely crushed me and that strong rejection is something I still wonder about. Why not me? Why was I not good enough?

The answer to this question is that it wasn’t meant to be. It is a painful answer that has a beautiful silver lining. I feel as though relationships are like putting together a puzzle. With some relationships, some of the pieces fit together, but upon closer examination you realize that it is actually a mess with pieces missing. Others, it is a perfect unexplainable fit. There are times I wonder where my life would be if that question had never been asked and then I realize I would be missing out on someone who loves me without compromise. I do not have to compromise myself or change anything in order to force a piece to fit. This was always how it was meant to be.

Wish #35: I wish you for you have great love and no heartbreak.

Love always

Big Decision

Dear Caroline,

Lately I’ve been weighing a decision. I graduated from VSU less than a year ago with my undergraduate degree, and I have been trying to decide if this is the right time to go back to school to get my masters. There are a lot of things to consider and I just cannot seem to come to a decision.

Pros

• It is a really good time. I don’t really have a lot of responsibilities right now. I don’t have children, Thomas works nights, and there is not a lot of take home from Pre-K.
• Many of my friends are starting to talk about going back to school.
• There a lot of online only programs at my alma mater. And even more around the state.
• For any pay raises to count in my state, there are time limits to consider.

Cons

• I don’t have a lot of motivation to go to school. I am exhausted when I get home!
• It is not fair that I’ve got my degree and Thomas still has two years left. The plan was for him to start back in August. I know how important his degree is to him and it isn’t fair for me to take that away from him.
• It is expensive! I’d have to take out even more loans.
• If I stay at my current position, the pay raise will not matter. Pre-K salaries are frozen for the time being.

We’re prayerfully considering our options. There is no answer that stands out to me. I’m not swayed either way and I can see the benefits and detriments of both. I have another month to decide.

Wish #34: I wish to provide you a multitude of educational opportunities.

Love always

**Also if anyone has any advice, don’t hesitate to leave a comment.

The Curse of Vanus

Dear Caroline,

My granddaddy was an amazing person who had many amazing experiences. Whenever he went to any kind of show he was picked as the volunteer. He was on Candid Camera, played basketball with the Harlem Globetrotters, and many others. Well we jokingly refer to this as the curse of Vanus in our family. Well today, I was hit with the curse of Vanus.

It started out of innocently enough. My school was able to secure an author who writes magic books. I had previously seen his act when I was student teaching and was excited because I knew that everyone would like him.

This morning when I was getting dressed, it occurred to me that I was going to be picked as the teacher “volunteer” and I better dress nice! So we’re in the middle of the show and a teacher volunteer was given the opportunity to learn how to do the Chinese ring trick.

And of course I got picked. I can handle my class and even debated in high school, but I don’t do large groups of people. The assembly was Pre-K through 2^nd grade plus special programs. I was thoroughly embarrassed! I was only able to complete the trick successfully two out of five times. I guess it was worth it though when I looked down at my kiddos and saw them looking up at me and waving. But I was still really, really embarrassed and now everyone knows me as the teacher who messed up the magic trick!

Wish #33: I wish for you not to embarrass easily!

Love always

Wish #32

Dear Caroline,

Wish #32: I wish you a very Happy 2012!

Love Aways