Mean Reds

Dear Caroline,

Sometimes with all of the noise, I just go to a mean-red place. Not the blues… As my friend Holly would say, the blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling, baby girl?

I’ve definitely got a case of the mean reds. Everything is scaring me lately. Everything is so overwhelming and new and scary and just everything. I can’t even really define it or explain it. Poor everyone around me-having to deal with me. There is something I just cannot quite put my finger on or understand as of yet. There is just something afoot and I hope that everything will reveal itself soon.

I think this is relatable. I think that every “young” person goes through some sort of crisis and I think this might be mine. But at the same time, it isn’t really my crisis. It is more than a crisis and at the same time I feel indulgent for having a crisis. I honestly am just a little ball of emotions.

What carry with me through this crisis is one bible verse I learned when I was a little girl in Sunday School.

“For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

Wish #97: I wish for no nerves. Be fearless!

Love always