The Question

Dear Caroline,

I promised myself that I would write honestly to you. This post will not be without pain on my part or the discomfort of others, but I promise to always to tell you the truth. I suppose this is the downside of a public blog prior to a book.

I’m watching a movie that could have defined a moment in my life. I am watching 500 Days of Summer a movie that asks a question I’ve wondered about myself.

The movie is essentially about a man who falls in love with a woman who doesn’t believe in love. The couple breaks up because of this difference of expectations. However, upon breaking up the woman immediately gets engaged and subsequently marries.

I can sympathize! The question, however, is more complicated and hurtful. The question is, “Why her?” and even more profoundly shattering, “Why not me?” When this happened to me, it completely crushed me and that strong rejection is something I still wonder about. Why not me? Why was I not good enough?

The answer to this question is that it wasn’t meant to be. It is a painful answer that has a beautiful silver lining. I feel as though relationships are like putting together a puzzle. With some relationships, some of the pieces fit together, but upon closer examination you realize that it is actually a mess with pieces missing. Others, it is a perfect unexplainable fit. There are times I wonder where my life would be if that question had never been asked and then I realize I would be missing out on someone who loves me without compromise. I do not have to compromise myself or change anything in order to force a piece to fit. This was always how it was meant to be.

Wish #35: I wish you for you have great love and no heartbreak.

Love always