Who knows?

Dear Caroline,

I feel a lot older than I actually am. I went through a lot of old pictures this morning. What struck me was how few pictures I actually have of just myself. All the pictures are of me doing something or being somewhere I thought was important. Very few of them was of what I consider to be myself. I was “that” girl in high school that had a disdain for everything high school. I spent most of my time fantasizing about what it would be like in college. While in college, I spent most of my time planning for my “real life” after graduation. Now I’m in my real life and I am still thinking about the next step. I think there is something seriously wrong with me in that I have a difficult time slowing down and living in the moment.

I had so many things I wanted for myself. I wanted to spend a year in the Peace Corps. I wanted to go to law school. I wanted to study abroad for a semester or at least over the summer. I’m twenty-two and I am refocusing on letting those things go without feeling like I failed. I feel so small town in that I got married and moved back home. It goes against everything I wanted for myself. I wanted so badly to make a difference and have this fabulous life.

I really think that God laughs at our plans. While accomplishing all of those things were in my plans, I was also praying that God would place the love of my life in my path. I also prayed for him in his daily walk and that he would be preparing his heart for our life together. I never imagined He would place Thomas in my life so soon! This is the path that God has chosen for me and I am really excited about all of the opportunities and the blessings I have in my life. I have been so blessed throughout my life. I have an amazing job that is immensely rewarding. I am newly married to the love of my life. We’re working on making all of our dreams come true. My point to this rambling letter is that while life may not always go our way, God has designed it with our best interests at heart. Who knows where we will end up? Only He does.

Love always